I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
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