I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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