No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
