What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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