i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
