I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
do herpes really smell.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
