I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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