Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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