She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
