I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
