Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
my being single is dangerous.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
