Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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