Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
So vagazzling was a success
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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