I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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