Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I need to align my fucking chakras
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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