we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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