I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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