Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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