I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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