i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
