And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
