I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
