yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
