Your mouth is God's brothel.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
