In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
