He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
