Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
