I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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