i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
