Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
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