Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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