Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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