im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
