Define "chronic" masturbator.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
