I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
