It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
