So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
