apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
