sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
