You really coming over, don't trick.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
