I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
