he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Found your dick twin last night
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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