I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
did you just send me my own nude
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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