Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
