she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
if only i could text you this smell
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
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