Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Randomize
