I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
