:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
