He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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