I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
