I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
