i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
