The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
