So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I think a kid would responsible me up
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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