You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
