high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
That accounts for only three of the penises
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize