The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
