Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
